Torcs before the eyes

One of the greatest dangers in the study of torcs is that you very soon start to see torcs everywhere. Be it online, or in your local high street, they are ever present.


You could, for example, be walking down the street when you see an innocuous sign for a door knocker, but think it’s a torc.


And as you continue on your way you are convinced that the taxi that just passed you had a torc on it. But it couldn’t have done, could it?

And then there’s the tradesmen: were there really that many torc businesses around before you started studying this stuff?

Even eating becomes a struggle with torc shapes ever present, and one day you realise you will never again be able to eat an apple like a normal person.

As the addiction grows you seek solace in books, but even there you cannot escape and you feed your need with increasingly bad novels about torcs – torcs with magical powers, torcs that kill people, torcs and neo-nazis.

And then things really get bad….you start seeing torcs everywhere. Electric fences and loop eye fittings…..

Long walks in the countryside become endurance tests of not seeing those oh-so-sneaky torc shapes (N.B. If you are suffering from full blown torc manifestation, do NOT under any circumstances go to Norfolk).

You’re not even safe with hand-dryers in toilets, or with children’s television (…and I swear that bunny was looking at me funny.)

And so finally, as a last resort, you turn to drink…..

So folks, beware the torc. What seems like ‘a fun little research project’ can easily become a dangerous obsession.

Happy New Year! We hope you have a torctastic 2020!


[With huge thanks to everyone who has sent me images of torc things, particularly – Dave Webb, Grahame Appleby and Paul Roberts. An extra big thanks goes to Emma Pinder and all at The Boudicca Brewing Co, who produce the best torc beer in the world!]

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